What to wear to a nikah, an Anand Karaj or a Catholic wedding as a guest

Dress modestly for all three. At a nikah in a masjid, women usually cover their hair and wear loose clothing that covers the arms and legs, and everyone removes their shoes. At an Anand Karaj, every guest covers their head and removes their shoes, and at a Catholic wedding, smart formal clothes are right, avoiding white.

Here is a little more detail for each, plus gifts, seating and photos.

What should I wear to a nikah?

A nikah can be held at a masjid, at home or at a banquet hall. If it is in a masjid, the expectations are clear:

• Women. Loose clothing that covers the arms and legs, and a scarf to cover your hair. Bring your own scarf, since not every masjid has spares. A shalwar kameez, an abaya, or a long dress with sleeves all work well.
• Men. Long trousers and a shirt with sleeves. A kurta, a thobe or a suit is fine.
• Shoes. Removed before entering the prayer area. Wear shoes that are easy to slip off, and clean socks.

If the nikah is at a hall, the dress code is usually more relaxed, but modest clothing is still the respectful choice. Some families ask women to cover their hair during the nikah itself, even at a hall.

What should I wear to an Anand Karaj?

The Anand Karaj takes place in the darbar hall of a gurdwara, in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib.

• Cover your head. Everyone does, men and women, Sikh or not. Women usually wear a dupatta or scarf. Men can use a bandana or a rumal, and many gurdwaras provide head coverings at the entrance. Caps and hats are not suitable.
• Remove your shoes. There are racks at the entrance.
• Dress modestly. Choose clothes that are comfortable for sitting on the floor, which is how the sangat sits. A shalwar kameez, a long skirt, or trousers with a modest top all work well.
• No tobacco or alcohol. Neither is allowed on gurdwara premises.

The Ontario Khalsa Darbar visitor guidelines are a good example of what GTA gurdwaras ask of visitors.

What should I wear to a Catholic wedding?

• Dress. Smart formal clothing: a suit or a dress shirt and trousers for men, a dress or a smart outfit for women.
• Shoulders. Some parishes prefer covered shoulders in church. A light wrap is an easy solution.
• Head covering. Not expected of guests.

Which colours should guests avoid?

Customs vary, so if in doubt, ask the couple or a family member.

• White. Avoid it at a Catholic or Western-style wedding, where it is the bride’s colour, and at many Arab weddings for the same reason. In many South Asian families, white is associated with mourning.
• Red. In many Pakistani, Indian and Punjabi families, red is the traditional bridal colour, so guests often choose another shade.
• Black. Some South Asian families associate black with mourning, while many Western-style evening receptions are happy to see it.
• Bright colours and jewel tones. Usually very welcome at Desi and Arab weddings.

What gift should I bring?

• Desi weddings. Cash in an envelope is the usual gift. In many Punjabi and Indian families, the amount ends in one, such as 101 rather than 100.
• Arab weddings. Cash in a card is a safe choice. If you are unsure, ask a family member what is usual.
• Catholic and Western-style weddings. A gift from the couple’s registry, or a card with a cheque or cash.

Write your name clearly on the envelope or card, so the couple can thank you.

Where will I sit?

• Nikah. Men and women may sit separately, especially at a masjid. Follow the ushers or the people around you.
• Anand Karaj. On the floor of the darbar hall, facing Sri Guru Granth Sahib. Men and women often sit on separate sides. Try not to point your feet towards Sri Guru Granth Sahib.
• Catholic wedding. Pews on either side of the aisle. Traditionally, the bride’s guests sit on the left and the groom’s on the right, though many couples now ask guests to sit anywhere.

What should I do during the ceremony?

• At a nikah, listen quietly through the khutbah and raise your hands for the dua if you wish. Dates or sweets are often shared afterwards.
• At an Anand Karaj, sit quietly through the kirtan and the four laavan. Afterwards you will be offered karah prashad: accept it with both hands cupped together. Then join everyone for langar.
• At a Catholic wedding, stand and sit with the congregation. If the ceremony includes Mass, Communion is generally for Catholics. Guests of other faiths can stay seated, or come forward with arms crossed over the chest for a blessing if the priest invites it.

Can I take photos?

Ask first, and follow the couple’s lead.

• Some couples ask for an unplugged ceremony, so keep your phone away while the official photographers work.
• Masjids, gurdwaras and churches often have their own rules on photography. Never use a flash during the ceremony.
• Never photograph or post women from a segregated or women-only space without asking.
• Wait for the couple to share their photos before posting your own.

A last tip

When you are unsure, watch the family members around you and follow their lead. Hosts are usually delighted to explain their customs to guests who ask kindly.

Planning a wedding where guests will meet several of these traditions? See how we approach weddings across cultures.